These wedges remind me of the chunky white shoes that go with slutty nurse costumes. So I decided to find a pair online for comparison. Both pairs engulf your whole foot and look so sterile and clean. Like an aloof, hospital, flickering incandescent tube lighting type of clean, which is decidedly different from a clean white sneakers clean.
I'm not a DIY person and besides, painting black shoes white sounds like a horrible idea. Onto search for white gogo boots and nurse shoes and bookmark them until they go on sale after Halloween.